Changing your beliefs is actually quite simple. But is it easy? Not really.
It always amazes me when no matter how much pain I go through because of a belief, and no matter how much evidence I gather that the belief is not working for me, how strongly my ego clings when it is so unquestionably detrimental to my well being.
So how do you change a belief? Here are the steps:
- Take an hour and go somewhere by yourself where you won't be interrupted. Get a favorite, non-alcoholic beverage and something to write with and on, and take a seat.
- Find a gap between something you want in your life and how that thing currently is. If something is upsetting to you and happens on a seemingly continuous basis, there's a gap there.
- Describe the situation and how it makes you feel when this occurs. Be really honest and hold nothing back. If you want to cuss do it! Nobody will be reading this so really feel the feelings and pour them onto the page. Spew that venom onto the page; let the rage pour, allow the tears to come. Get it all out and describe it in detail.
- Now, take a few deep breaths and regain your composure if you lost it. I usually read what I wrote and am astonished by what I read - "Did I really just write that?! Holy $hit that's f***ing nuts!" is my typical reaction. If that's how you feel guess what - you're totally fine.
- Next, describe how you would like the situation to be. This can take any format. I've written a lot of letters to other people they've never received; I've written letters to myself; I've written paragraphs detailing exactly how I want things to be between myself and someone else. The format doesn't matter, what does is you describe how you want things to be, no matter how outlandish it may seem.
- With the gap minded, consider for a moment that you may have had a part in creating this situation. I'm not suggesting you take 100% of the blame, however I am suggesting you consider for a moment what it would mean if you were 100% responsible. Write down what you may have or have not done to cause this situation to be.
- Next, think about a belief you hold about what the other person did or did not do. Take a bit and really ponder this one, for the ego loves to tell you, "There is no belief under this fear." I'm here to tell you there is. If there is any part of this process where resistance will rear it's ugly head, it's this one. Ego loves to cover over the gold with a mound of crap it's been piling on for years. Do not allow this to be! Uncover the belief that was violated in this situation, for that identification holds your means of escape.
- With that belief in hand, begin to question it, asking:
- Is is true?
- Can I absolutely know it's true?
- If you've come to the understanding that your belief is not true, and is not serving your life, replace it with a more empowering belief. What would you have to believe in order for what you want in this situation to be real? Write it down right now.
- Take it in. Re-read your new belief a few times and let its power penetrate your being.
- Now, write down all the evidence you can think of that would show this belief to be true, whether or not it actually exists.
- Finally, write an affirmation for your belief. The format doesn't matter. What does matter is you write them in completely positive language - nothing negative allowed!
With new belief in hand I suggest you repeat it to yourself multiple times when you meditate. Oh, you don't meditate? That's okay, I've got you covered. Read this little pebble on making meditation easy.
So now that you do meditate, at the very beginning of your session, repeat your affirmation at least three times; I recommend six or nine to ensure you've got it. Then just continue with the rest of the session. And as you go through your day, actively look for evidence that it's coming true.
If your intention is aligned with Source, it will.